Large Hadron Collider (Black Hole Machine) Successfully Launched

Sep 10, 2008 (Click to Rate!) Loading ...

Well if you haven’t seen the news already, the Large Hadron Collider AKA “The Black Hole Machine” was turned on, some protons shot through the thing, and the world didn’t implode on itself as some thought it might.

The amount of fear and general internet-superstar-comments surrounding this construction and eventual activation showed me one thing: The Media can go fuck itself.

Instead of trying to educate people about how the device worked, why a good portion of the world’s leading experts on the technology were excited about it instead of fearful, why France and Switzerland footed the $500 million project (which they obviously had their own science teams review) and what benefits will come out of it’s research, all we got from the mainstream was: “Black Hole Machine” a lot of hand waving and “Might Destroy the Earth”… so that’s super-helpful.

Because of that type of hyper-simplifaction, you end up with replies like these to the announcement that LHC would get turned on:

This machine should not be activated. The people who want to activate this project of theirs must only care for their research if they are willing to risk the lives of every human being on earth, including this earth!

Nature is a beautiful thing, and so are human beings. Nothing should harm any of it, not even the Big Bang theory should make any of us want to. It’s terrifying, knowing you could die because of some people wanting to find out something! Say they did find it out and they were amazed by what they found, but then the Black Holes consumed our wonderful planet, and we all died? Then their research would have been for nothing. It’s ridiculous and needs to be stopped. I for one, am against this project. I may only be young, but I understand it all, and even though I would like to know about the Big Bang, I’m not the type who’s up for killing mankind!

Awesome… so you are young, you “understand it all”, researchers are selfish, and it shouldn’t be turned on. That sounds like a pretty well thought out, detailed explanation. Maybe we should go back to the invention of antibiotics and discovery of germs and just throw that under the bus too because we didn’t understand that one.

What about space travel and bringing back space germs and destroying the planet with those? We should probably go back to the 1940s and 50s and put the kibosh on that too.

Oh shit, don’t forget about electricity and AC/DC power concerns that it would kill us all, we need to just get rid of that invention as well. God knows that research and ingenuinty has never been a good thing for our planet, so let’s just fill the LHC in with dirt and make a 17-mile flower bed.

Yes I’m really annoyed… one of the most amazing world-wide efforts started up today and most people were scared shitless about it instead of informed and excited because that doesn’t catch headlines and advertisement revenue like “Black Hole Machine to Destroy Earth, Get Ready for Doomsday!” does…. bah.

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This post was written by:

Riyad Kalla - who has written 1727 posts on The “Break it Down” Blog.

"Ultimately I just want to provide a resource that folks find useful."

12 Comments For This Post

Donna Says:
September 19th, 2008 at 11:02 am

There is one thing you maybe forgot, today, the launch was just a test. it was on a smaller scale. The real machine will not be launched until October 08.

Melanie Says:
September 22nd, 2008 at 8:54 pm

THANK YOU! God, so many people i talk to about this are all freaked out and “Oh my god, the big bang machine is going to kill us, black holes will be created and we will all die” I want to slap every single one and them. How can you even make assumptions about something you don’t bother to understand!! I mean, I admit, i don’t know much about this machine, and i doubt anyone but the actual manufacturers and researchers know everything about it, but im smart enough that when i heard “The Black hole machine, does it mean the end of the world?” on the news, i took a second and walked over to my computer to research it a little before jumping up and down hysterically about how we are all going to be eaten up by a black hole on October 8th. PLUS, half these people don’t even know what a black hole really is (Not that anyone really does). Most people think its like a HUGE garbage disposal lol. ANYWAYS, THANK YOU for writing this article. I will be emailing it to every fucktard ive spoken to about this machine.

Editor Says:
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm

Melanie, totally agree. If some world renowned physicist said the machine means our doom, I will sit up and take notice. But if the protests against it is all coming from Internet superstars that don’t have their doctorate in physics, I think I will calmly ignore those claims of the horsemen coming.

.... Says:
October 13th, 2008 at 10:44 am

Omg i totally cant believe this im younge right and all you can do is rewin it just cos you suit yourself alright im shit scared and wanna be a mom and look out to the futor, how can i do this if im not gonna be here. please dont do it im sooo bloody scared and is it true its going of on the 23rd october please write back cos i need to know. i think this world is amazing you guys are just selfish jut cos u wana do something that riskes EVERYONES Life. PLEASEEEEEEEEEE DONT DO IT I BEG YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!
Im not Angry Im Disapointed !.

Garrett Says:
October 20th, 2008 at 12:47 am

hey melanie and the editor your a bunch of fags…yous obviolsy dont have great lives if yous dnt care bout it..like i hav nuttin against this machine like if i new 100% dat nuttin bad wud happen like no one knows if it will fuck up until the whole process is done..so go hav some sex the both of yas cuz yous seem like you need a life and maybe if yous find sometin good in your miserable life den maybe..just maybe yous wont want to die..like you cant blame evryone for being scared and i agree wit you on the whole media blowing it way out fo proportion but you cant fuckin blame people from being scared.like why are you not scared??..its because u bieleve it wont fuck up..and the people who are scared bieleves it will so you cant say anytin…cop on and stop sayin shit bout people who are scared

Garett Hater Says:
November 30th, 2008 at 1:56 pm

F U Garett! If you don’t understand what this thing can do to help us then go F U C K … and have some retarded babies while you are at it!

S.Maggio Says:
February 4th, 2009 at 8:21 pm

What a big joke, we have all this money too spend on this shit, but people are dying all over the world, Come on guys we need this like a hole in the head, We really need to take a step back and look whats going on here and fix this first ,,,,

Riyad Kalla Says:
February 5th, 2009 at 7:22 am

Maggio, just to put things in perspective, this cost roughly 1/1400th of what the US bailout was.

Fabian Says:
February 12th, 2009 at 7:35 am

wow i was actually excited i really could care less what those over protective people have to say

Scott Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:25 am

First off, I’m all for understanding and researching the big-bang theory. But I can’t begin to understand how you believe creating a black hole (of any size) on earth is a good idea. It’s not about extremes here, it’s simply a FACT that this is VERY dangerous. Regardless of the research behind it, it’s still EXTREMELY dangerous. Personally I’d prefer if they didn’t go around dropping $500 million on projects that DO have potential to destroy the planet. I don’t care what you think, black holes are extremely dangerous – we all know how government organizations work as well, whatever is cheaper, and in this case that doesn’t need to happen. We need to make sure this is safe before we go around creating black holes. We’re fucked as a race as it is between religious wars and polluting the LAST thing we need to be doing is crating black holes underground on our planet.

Fred Frederson Says:
May 26th, 2009 at 6:55 am

I agree with Scott, all of you that THINK nothing will happen can THINK whatever you want. Nothing like this has ever been done before so nobody, not even the scientists who invented it, know EXACTLY what will happen. Of course it is a great thing to do because if successful, it will redefine science as we know it, but it does come with huge risks, its not a risk free experiment like some of you clowns think it is.

D Says:
August 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

Thia reminds me of another so called disastrous waste of money. The Hubble Space telescope. It had a flawed mirror and it the media created a frenzy about the waste of money it was. Even flawed the resolution was still better than any ground based observatory then with a software fix it proved to be ground breaking in detail of the heavens. The media is never about being proud about anything that mankind can do but what can be sold to us at a profit. News isn’t news unless it can make a few bucks for someone who is already rich. Lets wait for the fix at the collider and run it at full throttle and hang on world were going for a ride!

Donna Says:
September 19th, 2008 at 11:02 am
There is one thing you maybe forgot, today, the launch was just a test. it was on a smaller scale. The real machine will not be launched until October 08.
Melanie Says:
September 22nd, 2008 at 8:54 pm
THANK YOU! God, so many people i talk to about this are all freaked out and “Oh my god, the big bang machine is going to kill us, black holes will be created and we will all die” I want to slap every single one and them. How can you even make assumptions about something you don’t bother to understand!! I mean, I admit, i don’t know much about this machine, and i doubt anyone but the actual manufacturers and researchers know everything about it, but im smart enough that when i heard “The Black hole machine, does it mean the end of the world?” on the news, i took a second and walked over to my computer to research it a little before jumping up and down hysterically about how we are all going to be eaten up by a black hole on October 8th. PLUS, half these people don’t even know what a black hole really is (Not that anyone really does). Most people think its like a HUGE garbage disposal lol. ANYWAYS, THANK YOU for writing this article. I will be emailing it to every fucktard ive spoken to about this machine.
Editor Says:
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Melanie, totally agree. If some world renowned physicist said the machine means our doom, I will sit up and take notice. But if the protests against it is all coming from Internet superstars that don’t have their doctorate in physics, I think I will calmly ignore those claims of the horsemen coming.
.... Says:
October 13th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Omg i totally cant believe this im younge right and all you can do is rewin it just cos you suit yourself alright im shit scared and wanna be a mom and look out to the futor, how can i do this if im not gonna be here. please dont do it im sooo bloody scared and is it true its going of on the 23rd october please write back cos i need to know. i think this world is amazing you guys are just selfish jut cos u wana do something that riskes EVERYONES Life. PLEASEEEEEEEEEE DONT DO IT I BEG YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!
Im not Angry Im Disapointed !.
Garrett Says:
October 20th, 2008 at 12:47 am
hey melanie and the editor your a bunch of fags…yous obviolsy dont have great lives if yous dnt care bout it..like i hav nuttin against this machine like if i new 100% dat nuttin bad wud happen like no one knows if it will fuck up until the whole process is done..so go hav some sex the both of yas cuz yous seem like you need a life and maybe if yous find sometin good in your miserable life den maybe..just maybe yous wont want to die..like you cant blame evryone for being scared and i agree wit you on the whole media blowing it way out fo proportion but you cant fuckin blame people from being scared.like why are you not scared??..its because u bieleve it wont fuck up..and the people who are scared bieleves it will so you cant say anytin…cop on and stop sayin shit bout people who are scared
Garett Hater Says:
November 30th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
F U Garett! If you don’t understand what this thing can do to help us then go F U C K … and have some retarded babies while you are at it!
S.Maggio Says:
February 4th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
What a big joke, we have all this money too spend on this shit, but people are dying all over the world, Come on guys we need this like a hole in the head, We really need to take a step back and look whats going on here and fix this first ,,,,
Riyad Kalla Says:
February 5th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Maggio, just to put things in perspective, this cost roughly 1/1400th of what the US bailout was.
Fabian Says:
February 12th, 2009 at 7:35 am
wow i was actually excited i really could care less what those over protective people have to say
Scott Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:25 am
First off, I’m all for understanding and researching the big-bang theory. But I can’t begin to understand how you believe creating a black hole (of any size) on earth is a good idea. It’s not about extremes here, it’s simply a FACT that this is VERY dangerous. Regardless of the research behind it, it’s still EXTREMELY dangerous. Personally I’d prefer if they didn’t go around dropping $500 million on projects that DO have potential to destroy the planet. I don’t care what you think, black holes are extremely dangerous – we all know how government organizations work as well, whatever is cheaper, and in this case that doesn’t need to happen. We need to make sure this is safe before we go around creating black holes. We’re fucked as a race as it is between religious wars and polluting the LAST thing we need to be doing is crating black holes underground on our planet.
Fred Frederson Says:
May 26th, 2009 at 6:55 am
I agree with Scott, all of you that THINK nothing will happen can THINK whatever you want. Nothing like this has ever been done before so nobody, not even the scientists who invented it, know EXACTLY what will happen. Of course it is a great thing to do because if successful, it will redefine science as we know it, but it does come with huge risks, its not a risk free experiment like some of you clowns think it is.
D Says:
August 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Thia reminds me of another so called disastrous waste of money. The Hubble Space telescope. It had a flawed mirror and it the media created a frenzy about the waste of money it was. Even flawed the resolution was still better than any ground based observatory then with a software fix it proved to be ground breaking in detail of the heavens. The media is never about being proud about anything that mankind can do but what can be sold to us at a profit. News isn’t news unless it can make a few bucks for someone who is already rich. Lets wait for the fix at the collider and run it at full throttle and hang on world were going for a ride!

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