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Brian Fernandes just sent this in, and it sent shivers up my spine… apparently “Coconut Crabs” or “Robber Crabs” are of the crab breed “Fuckus Hugeous”.
The coconut crab is able to crack coconuts with it’s claws and eat the inside.
Knowing that these things are insanely huge AND have pincers that could crack your skull open, why wouldn’t you hold one up to your face, near your tender supple body:
I know I would. I’d probably get drunk, fool around with my friends, and stuff it up my pant leg and be like “Look guys… I have CRABS! HAHAHA” and everyone would think it was hilarious… including the ER staff that sedates me while the surgeon tries to re-attach my genitles.
Oh, what’s that? You aren’t that impressed? How about if they can be sky-blue and scare the bejesus out of you as you walked through a forest?
I would totally pass out if I was walking through the forest and ran into one of these at eye-level near my head doing crab-things… I’d run screaming out of the jungle like a little girl.
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October 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 pm
It’s a real life head crab from Half Life!
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
So true… probably one of the reasons I have such a phobia about them.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:08 am
ok, this freaks me out a bit…
October 24th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I think Steve-O sticks one of these on his ass in an episode of Wild Boys.
March 16th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
wow… those things are huge!1 i saw 1 in front os my house. I almost fainted.. thats how i found this blog.
March 16th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Ken where do you live? Is there any chance of you grabbing a picture of it?
How big was it, size of a soccer ball, dinner plate… bigger?
March 17th, 2008 at 6:18 am
The nightmares have started all over again…
March 19th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
who gives a fuck about a crab anyway. I would have killed that bastard on the trash can and put him on my wall, or my fatass would eat him.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:49 pm
that is just gross!!!! >X-1
April 21st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
buahahahaha i want one it will be my evil apperentice
April 28th, 2008 at 2:10 am
So like… How do I have sex with these things ?
May 18th, 2008 at 10:11 am
FUCKING CRABS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY EARTH.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Someone help me!!!! My medication is soooo not working!!!
February 7th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
imagine if that coconut was your head… theres already enough scsary things on this earth… now this?
February 9th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Exactly… that’s why I would consider wearing full plate armor in the rain forest if I was going Coconut Crab hunting…