Brian Fernandes just sent this in, and it sent shivers up my spine… apparently “Coconut Crabs” or “Robber Crabs” are of the crab breed “Fuckus Hugeous”.
The coconut crab is able to crack coconuts with it’s claws and eat the inside.
Knowing that these things are insanely huge AND have pincers that could crack your skull open, why wouldn’t you hold one up to your face, near your tender supple body:
I know I would. I’d probably get drunk, fool around with my friends, and stuff it up my pant leg and be like “Look guys… I have CRABS! HAHAHA” and everyone would think it was hilarious… including the ER staff that sedates me while the surgeon tries to re-attach my genitles.
Oh, what’s that? You aren’t that impressed? How about if they can be sky-blue and scare the bejesus out of you as you walked through a forest?
I would totally pass out if I was walking through the forest and ran into one of these at eye-level near my head doing crab-things… I’d run screaming out of the jungle like a little girl.
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23. October 2007 at 1:10 pm
It’s a real life head crab from Half Life!
23. October 2007 at 1:14 pm
So true… probably one of the reasons I have such a phobia about them.
24. October 2007 at 11:08 am
ok, this freaks me out a bit…
24. October 2007 at 2:05 pm
I think Steve-O sticks one of these on his ass in an episode of Wild Boys.
16. March 2008 at 12:22 pm
wow… those things are huge!1 i saw 1 in front os my house. I almost fainted.. thats how i found this blog.
16. March 2008 at 1:00 pm
Ken where do you live? Is there any chance of you grabbing a picture of it?
How big was it, size of a soccer ball, dinner plate… bigger?
17. March 2008 at 6:18 am
The nightmares have started all over again…
19. March 2008 at 9:21 pm
who gives a fuck about a crab anyway. I would have killed that bastard on the trash can and put him on my wall, or my fatass would eat him.
2. April 2008 at 7:49 pm
that is just gross!!!! >X-1
21. April 2008 at 2:32 pm
buahahahaha i want one it will be my evil apperentice
28. April 2008 at 2:10 am
So like… How do I have sex with these things ?
18. May 2008 at 10:11 am
FUCKING CRABS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY EARTH.
1. February 2010 at 2:32 pm
I KNOW THEY SHOULD GO FUCK THEMSELVES
2. September 2008 at 5:39 pm
Someone help me!!!! My medication is soooo not working!!!
7. February 2009 at 7:18 pm
imagine if that coconut was your head… theres already enough scsary things on this earth… now this?
9. February 2009 at 11:15 am
Exactly… that’s why I would consider wearing full plate armor in the rain forest if I was going Coconut Crab hunting…
13. September 2009 at 4:40 am
i agree with crabs make me scream like a 10 year old girl
GET OUT OF EARTH!
13. September 2009 at 10:48 pm
That would certainly stop me from strolling around in the dark barefooted.
9. October 2009 at 11:48 am
Holy shit. If I even saw one of those on the beach, I would flip the fuck out and start shooting at everything that moved.
15. October 2009 at 7:40 am
lol, Austin I have a mental picture of you seeing a giant crab half way down the beach, and just loosing your mind and shooting up the lunch tables and trees and stuff around you
18. October 2009 at 9:16 am
Dude, just tell me where you live. I’ll bring the giant boiling pot (I really have one) and the crab cake mix. We eatin good in yo neighborhood.
21. October 2009 at 7:52 am
Hahaha, then the crabs will pay!
21. October 2009 at 4:02 am
That’s whack as! I LOVE CRABS!
I had a pet hermit crab for a day once, before they were in shops and became a craze, and his name was Albert and after freaking him out for a day I released him to the wild…
These crabs sound like awesome fun. Who wants to have a crab race?
Yeah I’ve been playing around with crabs forever, it was something to do to catch crabs.
I love them as well as squid and whales…but I don’t eat whales…and all these animals are way cooler alive.
Harpoon the Japs!
cyaz
gandalf
26. October 2009 at 8:07 pm
I pray that with the new info on finding Amelia Earhardt, landing on an island with these monsters, that she didn’t suffer long.
28. October 2009 at 10:57 pm
lol me too.
28. October 2009 at 7:16 pm
OMG…that is the creepiest thing ive ever seen! That one guy is SO lucky he has a nipple left..if i were the crab that tasty treat would be WAY too inviting!! LOL *ech
1. February 2010 at 2:36 pm
YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERTED PERSON THOSE CRABS NEED TO FUCK THEMSELVES AWAY FROM ME CAUSE ID TAKE A MACHETE AND EAT ME SOME CRAB
5. February 2010 at 1:53 pm
anonymous/shigglejiggle (same person) I’d hate to see you at a sea food restaurant… I’m picturing you standing in the lobby screaming at the lobster tank “GO FUCK YOURSELVES!”
24. November 2009 at 3:31 pm
X-mas island!!! these guys really do exist-60years old and bodies to a metre they are awesome i have seen them
20. January 2010 at 8:53 pm
made me hungry!
24. January 2010 at 9:28 pm
You’re probably safe as long as you don’t smell like a coconut.
24. January 2010 at 9:48 pm
haha, probably true.