The “Break it Down” Blog

*(Things turned sour in India when beloved monkey-hero Johnny Bananas burned down the house of his owner)

**(That’s crap, I just made that up)

We’ve blogged before about the on-going problems in Delhi with regard to the rampant bands of monkey’s that live in the city, steal food and harass people, but aren’t stopped because the monkey is a sacred animal there.

Well Greg Amerson sends in an interesting followup… now this news is hitting CNN with no solution in sight.

The original plan was to just ignore the monkeys and hope that they died of heat stroke or solar radiation. When that plan didn’t work, the government decided to train bigger and scrappier monkeys to beat up the smaller ones (you get to see one of them in the CNN movie). Unfortunately that air-tight plan didn’t pan out either…

There doesn’t seem to be a clear-cut solution to the problem as no one is proposing plans that actually work. The idea of capturing the monkeys and taking them to a monkey reserve 1hr outside of Delhi isn’t working very well either because the some 10,000 monkeys in the city are not only proving hard to catch… the monkeys inside the retreat can leave any time they want by simply climbing the wall.

Here’s my solution:

1. Go to Texas
2. Put up a sign that reads “Do you like to shoot stuff until it dies?”
3. Let people sign up to go to India
4. After 3/4 of Texas has signed the form, put them on army planes and parachute them into Delhi with a pack of food, their gun, and a backpack full of ammo
5. At lunch time, pick them all up

There, job done.