The “Break it Down” Blog

If you read this blog regularly, you may have caught our story from a few months back about the Kenyan village that was overrun by vervet monkeys who attacked and harassed the inhabitants but couldn’t be attacked themselves because it was against Kenyan law?

Well now a loyal reader has sent in a story of even more insane capacity…

It looks like the deputy mayor of Delhi, India was killed recently by a band of freaking monkeys… just let that sink in… actually let’s take a quiz:

What recently killed the deputy mayor of Delhi?

1. High blood pressure
2. Meteor
3. Ham sandwich
4. Rogue band of freaking monkeys
5. Zombies

Answer: 4

I’m with you guys, #5 would have been awesome, but it was actually a band of monkeys that killed him. Besides this being a scene right out of Monkey Shines, guess what the solution to getting rid of the smaller Rhesus macaques was? That’s right… to train “more ferocious langur monkeys” to go after them.

So India’s solution to it’s monkey problem is slightly awesome-er than Kenya’s (who just ignores it and let’s people starve), but still a far cry from well thought out.

What happens after the macaques are gone and the humans brush their hands off and pat themselves on the back, then suddenly realize there is a band of freaking crazy killing-machine-monkeys with nothing to do? I don’t think you can just give them toys and be like “Keep yourself occupied until the next catastrophy”… I think they are breeding their next problem to which the only solution is crazy-killing-gorillas… or maybe a giant robot to go after them… that is an idea I can get on board with…