The “Break it Down” Blog

Well the scores are in… Halo 3 is the greatest game made, by humans, on earth. The re-telling of the same story that wasn’t all that interesting years ago, combined with 3 new weapons and 3 new vehicles, in environments that look identical to the first game but with crazy post-processing on them is just too much to handle.

Has anyone else noticed that all the reviews are harping on are the functional additions to the game (saving game clips online, multiplayer modes, in-game level editing) and not the game itself?

So far the only review I’ve read that actually reviewed the game was this one, sent in by Laurence Hartje. To sum it up, Halo 3’s single player, the actual game is the same f-ing game you’ve played before already, with the same shit level design, and same shallow story. Also the game takes about 8hrs to finish.

I’m not saying the other parts aren’t important, content-wise I think Halo 3 delivers $60 worth of fun, and then some (cough, unlike some games, cough); it just gets old having reviews pitch this as the greatest game made because of some cool online additions but a rehashed single player that they would ding any other game for and give it a 8/10.

For example, if Haze were to ship all these features, you know it would be getting an 8/10 or 7.5/10 for a “nice try, but the single player is just too rehashed”. Oh but not Halo… not the golden child that gave life meaning to so many people… not the shit game, that through the magic of marketing is for some reason the Adam and Eve of all gaming life that Microsoft has told us it is.

And no, the Halo universe is not amazing to me. Halo 2 was junk, Halo 1 was a simple story with some nice features in a super linear, un-revolutionary game. But millions in advertising tells us differently.

Update #1: Another sane review from Zonk over at Slashdot.