Fable 2 Gameplay – A Little To Close to Home?

Up My Own Ass has a story titled “Epic Fail or My Reputation Has Obviously Preceded Me” — which is a damn funny take on how Fable 2’s “real world” gameplay might hit too close to home… specifically in the sex & relationships area, here’s a snippet:

So it started off with me dancing a bit, and just doing the sorts of gestures the game has available to make people like you and fall in love with you. This includes blowing kisses, whistling, doing a sock puppet show, showing off my muscles and asking them to follow me. I decided to forgo the farting expression because while you can make them laugh with you, there is also the risk of shitting your pants at which point they will be laughing at you. So I did my thing, laid my game down as it were and the women were interested. They were falling in love and sounded like they were trying to get up on my virtual pants-business. So far so good. According to the strategy guide, the instruction booklet, and the advice of friends, the next move is to get them to follow you to bed. Then you activate the bed and activate her G-spot… just like real life. What happened was that I accidentally got married, had to buy a house with half of my new sword money, get ragged on by my new wife about where we lived, my appearance, and how much money I was giving her every day. Then, after finally managing to fuck her, she got pregnant and I had a kid.

Holy fucking shit.

I totally want this game now… it reminds me of the first time I got The Sims. The first thing I did was:

1. Marry
2. Have a Child
3. Put the child in the bathroom with a lot of windows into the living room in the wall of the bathroom
4. Wall up the bathroom and made my wife watch it die
5. Then walled her up in the bedroom until she died

I can’t tell if I’m sick or as a software designer, if I just wanted to see if the designers had actually specified logic for all these scenarions.

… incase you are wondering, they did.