Loading ...Introduction
The purpose of this post is to take a look at a phenomenon I saw in my life and I think some of you might see in yours: chronic almost-achievement.
The ability to give every task 95%, but avoid giving anything 100% like the plague for fear of failure and self-disappointment.
Outline
- What’s a 95%-er?
- Why is 95% Bad?
- Why Do People Do It?
- Am I an Almost-Achiever?
- How Do I Stop Almost-Achieving?
- Why Should I Listen to You?
What’s a 95%-er?
I had a disturbing revelation over the last while that came to a head when I was watching The Hammer. The premise of the movie is that a washed up ex-champion boxer gets a second chance, at 40, to fight in the Olympics because of his natural boxing talent.
There is a part about 1/2 way through the movie where Jerry (Adam Carolla) is talking with the team coach and the coach says:
I’ve seen guys like you before; you’re a 95%-er. You never give 100%.
… and for some reason that resonated with me big time.
In each activity I do now, I can’t help but have that sentence go through my head: “Am I giving this 100% right now?” and that simple assessment, multiple times throughout the day has changed my approach to a surprising number of things.
One of the biggest changes I noticed is my overall level of happiness and satisfaction is much higher, which seems strange even though it’s only a 5% difference in effort… there is a satisfaction that I did my best and succeeded.
Why is 95% Bad?
95% is almost 100%, right? Why is that so bad?
Looking at my own life, I would have to say it’s bad because it creates a mode of living that is equatable to being in cruise-control.
You are good enough at most things but excellent at nothing. You rarely have to bust your ass at something, and when you do, it’s a lot harder than you thought it would be, further discouraging you from doing it again.
Another comparison would be to your fitness level. Let’s say at some point in your life you were in really excellent shape for an extended period of time. Let’s say you are getting older now and still hold on to your hay-days in your head when you are watching other people do things that are physical and think to yourself:
I could do that no problem! OR I used to do that all the time, no problem!
The problem is that as the years pass and you get in worse and worse shape, you hold on to the belief that you could, if you had to, still do all those things. At some point you create such a strong association between your self-worth and being able to perform whatever task it is that you believe you still can (e.g. lifting heavy weights, running fast, swimming fast, gymnastics, etc.) that your subconscious exists only to maintain that association you have hammered into your psyche.
In order to maintain that reality, you avoid the task you think you can still do at all costs to avoid facing the possible reality that you cannot still perform it. Or you may not avoid the task entirely, but when you do involve yourself with it you do it half-assed. In no time at all you are doing everything at 95%.
An example of this might be avoiding joining a running club because you used to be an amazing runner but now you just jog and you’d rather not find out that you aren’t as fast as you thought you were. Or maybe when you play sports you avoid scenarios where you will have to go full-out and instead schluff the point and let the other team score.
I think once you start down that path, as you get older 95% turns into 85% and the 75% and so on; until you get to the point where you loath yourself and can’t quite pin-point why. You just know you hate yourself and it manifests itself in a bunch of bad ways, e.g. bad habits, drinking, over-eating, cursing, anger, violence,etc.
Why Do People Do It?
Fear of failure; ultimately the fear that if they gave it 100% and still failed, that they do suck and they just confirmed that they sucked by failing at that task. Even more than that, the fear that they can’t be better, even if they wanted to and that their 100% just isn’t good enough.
Some people do it to shirk responsibility. If they never give something 100%, then when they fail it’s not their fault, cause they weren’t “really trying that hard”. This can be another form of masking fear-of-failure though.
I have a fortune from a fortune-cookie taped to my monitor that I got one night after Chinese food that reads:
Not having a goal is much scarier than not reaching one.
That is there to remind me at all times to not give up hope if things seem like they aren’t all a giant ball of success and just to make sure I have a goal and working towards it no matter how mad, tired or pissed off I am.
Sometimes life is full of success… everything is working out, I’m firing on all cylinders and nothing could make it better; those are easy times to get through. It’s the times where things seem shitty, you are stressed out and just want to punch a kitten that you have to hang in there, and drag yourself through towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Things will always get good again for people willing to do that.
It is worse not to have a goal and not be working towards anything.
Am I an Almost-Achiever?
I think you can probably answer this one on your own… things I would suggest looking for are:
- A constant nagging sense that you could have done better at tasks you complete.
- Ex: If I had started earlier, I could have done a better job on that report.
- Ex: If I had made more time to plan, this trip would have been better.
- Ex: If I had practiced 1 more week, my tennis/golf game could have been so much better.
- Ex: If I had just focused more I would have lost more weight.
- A nagging or subtle feeling of knowing you could of done better at something, but for some reason you didn’t.
- Ex: I know I could have beat John at racket ball… how does he keep beating me?
- Ex: I know I could have given a better motivational talk to the group, why was I so scatter-brained?
- You are a great starter but a terrible finisher
- Ex: You start projects all the time, but rarely finish them, or half-finish them.
- Ex: You have no problem promising things to people, but rarely deliver.
- You are never completely happy with your own efforts completing things.
- You are frustrated with yourself often about things you should be doing, but aren’t for some reason.
- Ex: I should be at the gym right now.
- Ex: I should be studying for that exam.
- Ex: I should call the guys and schedule a night out for fun so we can all get together.
The theme here is that you are most likely aware of frustrations you have with yourself regarding how you execute tasks.
How Do I Stop Almost-Achieving?
You just stop. Seriously.
It’s a conscious decision, don’t be scared of it, it feels good, even when you fail.
You just decide that you are done half-assing things. Next time you are playing a sport or working on something, think to yourself:
Am I giving this 100%?
You’ll know the answer right away. If you have that ball of guilt start to build up in your stomach, then you aren’t.
If you aren’t, then start. You’d be surprised how small the distance (in units of effort) between 95% and 100% are. You’d be surprised how little it takes to go from hating yourself to being genuinly impressed with your efforts. You’d be surprised how good it can feel to succeed, but also fail, once you know you are giving it 100% and can always work to improve and get past failure.
An example of this that happened just now is that I thought I was done with this post, so I was about to hit the Publish button then had the following dialog with myself in about 3 seconds:
- 100% Me: I should proof-read this… I’m not that good of a writer.
- 95% Me: Uggg, it’s good enough, just publish it, let’s go to bed… I’m tired.
- 100% Me: How ironic that I’m trying to cut-corners writing a “don’t cut corners post”… I have to proof this.
- 95% Me: Ok but skip the first 4 paragraphs, they were pretty good, no need to re-read them.
- 100% Me: Shut up, we are proofing the entire thing.
This happens all the time, every day to me. It’s not like my 95%-side disappeared, I’m just more aware of exactly what it is, what it wants and how I can combat it.
Why Should I Listen to You?
You don’t have to, you could your browser right now and ignore everything I wrote.
I really hope you don’t though…
If you got down to this section I have to imagine something written above resonated with you? Maybe you have been here too and have tips of your own that helped you? Maybe there is something I missed that is a big culprit for causing Almost-Achiever-Syndrome?
I’m just excited about a near leaf I’ve turned over and wanted to share it with folks if it helps. I feel like this has been the source of so much frustration and annoyance in my life since god-knows-how-long and now that I’m finally aware of it, and actively trying to change it things have been noticably more enjoyable for me. I hope they can be for you as well.
I would love to hear any comments, feedback, etc. on the topic. I know there are people out there, reading this, that are smarter and more qualified than I am that might have some excellent tips or comments to share.
Update #1: If you enjoyed this article, you might also check out Handling Self Doubt and Battling Inactivity.
Loading ...
July 19th, 2008 at 1:37 am
Spot on.
I’m the same, I do what I must and rarely much more.
Never thought about it until I read this.
Life on cruise control…..
I’m going to ponder this.
July 19th, 2008 at 7:03 am
NotTheDroids,
Do you ever feel frustrated with yourself about doing things that you know you could do better or does it never come up?
That’s one data point I didn’t have… does it just not matter really to some folks *or* do some folks never notice it cause they are perfectly cool with how things are going anyway?
Would be interesting to get feedback from that angle as well.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Not frustrated, that’s to strong a feeling.
I get annoyed with myself sometimes for not doing my best, or not challenging myself.
Professionally I get no “pat on the back” or acknowledgment for a job well done. It either works=GOOD or it doesn’t work=BAD. The only times I get positive feedback is when it’s done fast.
But I don’t have any “excuse” for my 95%-behaviour in my non-work life.
More thinking to do about that.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:59 am
NotTheDroids,
Interesting… I function really heavily around positive feedback, in work scenarios when I’ve ceased to get it and have no meter of how well my work is being perceived I more or less totally become unhooked and want to leave.
If you had that choice you want more detailed positive/negative feedback or do you function pretty well without it and it’s just personal preference to know if you are giving something your all or not?
I know you want some time to think about this, no rush on a reply. Just an interesting dialog that’s all
July 19th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
you can say the same for almost everyone who starts a diet: they quit half way (or in this case at 95% =p) and gain even more back.
July 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Manny that’s true, getting out of a comfort zone to effect a change like a diet or exercise routine is probably one of the hardest things to do and a 95% will *Always* (like you said) fall off the bandwagon at some point where the very few who can hang in there will see it through and accept the change as concrete; nothing something that can be changed back.
July 21st, 2008 at 7:07 am
Riyad:
Those were some interesting insights you put forward and they did strike resonance with me (though I love my cats too much to punch a kitten, ever!)
I would disagree on one point. You said: “You are never completely happy with your own efforts completing things.” You offered this as a symptom of being a 95%er. I think this is the mark of a Type A “One hundred and ten” per center. They are never happy with the job they’ve done. I would think the 95% guy would look at his work and say things like: “Good enough” or “It’s not going anywhere” or “meets the minimum standards.”
I have always struggled with this concept. I’ve despised since childhood that “close enough for government work” mentality, but my attempts to get things PERFECT have often left me frustrated and unable to complete tasks to my own standards. Then I found myself foundering for awhile, unwilling to start projects because I did not want to go through that cycle of beating myself up over impossible details. I have since come to terms with it though. Here’s what I’ve found.
Some jobs need to be absolutely perfect. We can’t sent the shuttle into space with improperly seated o-rings in the booster rockets. Check, check again, re-check one more time. On a smaller level, I never publish a post until I have thoroughly proofed it. That was your example (and you still have about a dozen typos, LOL
). But, on the other side of the equation, some jobs really just need to get DONE! The doing is more critical than the perfection of the result. Ripping out the weeds in the garden, you may damage some keeper plants. More will grow. Putting out the garbage, you forget the pail in the upstairs bathroom. The truck comes again on Thursday. Painting a surface to protect it from rust, you get runs and drips. The part is hidden from sight anyway, and the point of painting it was the protection, not the beauty. This critical evaluation of every job has made me more productive, even in some large scale undertakings.
The point is, we need to bring our well seasoned, experienced eye to a task and rather than burden ourselves with the idea that our reputation depends on every little thing we do, so it all has to be perfect, we need to evaluate what is needed, and accomplish that while letting what is not needed fall away. It may look like 95%ing, but it really is working smarter, and it yields more accomplishment, which in turn, boosts our little egos and makes us feel better about ourselves.
July 21st, 2008 at 7:29 am
Chris,
Excellent followup! A lot of good points in there… let me try and respond to each a bit:
Type A: This is an interesting point. It’s true that a Type-A/perfectionist would definitely suffer from the “this is never good enough” to the point of frozen inactivity like you said… I’ve been there many many times (and I’m sure will be there many many more times in my life). Although I still think that Type-A “it’s never good enough” is born out of fear of failure… you never want to declare the project ‘finished’ because it’s not good enough in your mind and you might need to face the fact that it wasn’t good enough, so you just stop working on the project or work on it endlessly, either way I see that as a 95% approach to a job.
Like you said a 100% approach is to assess a job, do it, complete it and move on. It’s the whole deal… the acceptance of the responsibility, the diligent planning and execution and moving on from there.
I do see where you are coming from, but I think it’s a perspective thing like you said… it sounded to me like you were equating the amount or level of work with the percentage of effort… so 110%’er Type-A, that is frozen on a project… but giving 110% on it.
My comment there is that they implicitly wouldn’t be giving 110% on it and are actually giving 95% on it for exactly the point you made at the end of your post: they aren’t working smarter, they are just working really really hard, non-stop. So in a way, yes they may be putting in more time on something, but are ultimately shirking the responsibility of completing the task and accepting the results.
I think Type-A’s suffer from this perfectionist approach that causes them to lock up a lot… I’ve had it with certain things over the years, but I’m generally not too Type-A, I have seen other friends who are big-time Type A completely lock up on tasks for *years* because of that though… it’s astounding to me that in their minds, they have reasoned that not completing the task and facing the “failure” (that no one would even notice) is worse than never completing the task and letting it flounder forever.
BTW I loved your examples, they were *spot* on… god I think 3 of them were straight out of my life.
So in closing, I absolutely agree with the work smarter point you made… it really is all about assessing the tasks and makings heads and tails of them and then completing in the appropriate manner that gets them done and gets you moved onto the next thing with a satisfactory amount of effort and work.
Thanks again for posting, really enjoyed reading your response.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
In many areas I am way less than a 95%-er, i’m more like a 50%-er. I liked Chris’ points and feel like I’m always struggling between being at peace with things and feeling bad about not doing better. And i think you’re right, even if I’m not at 100%, it feels a lot better to be working hard at something but I can’t ever keep it up for more than a short while. What recommendations do you have for someone who has to gain a lot more than 5%?
August 30th, 2008 at 7:38 am
50%er,
Thanks for posting here and giving us a chance to see if we can help. The one thing I want to make clear is that I don’t think you have to be 100% on *everything*, there is some stuff you just don’t like that much.
For example, maybe you go water-skiing with your family on the big summer vacation, and it seems like you never get any better… before you decide to beat yourself up about it, dig deep and figure out if you even *care* about skiing… if you don’t, and the only reason you do it is to have fun at the family get together, then don’t waste any time beating yourself up over it, recognize that it’s just a passtime thing, you put in a small amount of effort into it, and that is OK with you and move on.
Now, for the items that *are* important to you, that you still only give 50 or 60% on, I think that this new article might be a good read, specifically Section #2 on handling Self Doubt… that’s the trick with a lot of people that are completely frozen in complete inactivity… they dwell on how far the distance *seems* to be between Point A (where they are now, that they don’t want to be at) and Point B (some imagined successful point that looks to be like 100 miles away).
This is a lot like trying to cross the Sahara desert, the only possible way to do it, is to start taking 1 step at a time… there is NO other way. That is why I suggest breaking tasks down into “micro” tasks that seem to have nothing to do with the bigger task, so it doesn’t feel so daunting. In the long run you come to realize that the distance between Failure and Success was a hell of a lot shorter than you realized.
I gave some examples in the other article, but some other example might be something like this:
Current State of Mind (Point A): I’m a terrible father, I never play with my kids and don’t feel that connected to my wife.
Perceived Perfect State (Point B): My kids adore me, we play ALL the time and I love it, my wife admires me and I love her to pieces.
So given that, when you are sitting at Point A and imaginging that you want to get to Point B, it more or less feels impossible. You probably say stuff like:
* Well I would need like 6 extra hours a day to play with my kids and wife to fix this.
* I would have to be a stay at home dad, and I can’t do that!
* I travel too much, it’s impossible to see them more!
* My wife is always so critical, I could never be close to her!
basically just a myriad of reasons as to why you can’t ever get from A to B… but the reality, the honest-to-god reality, is that to get to Point B, you don’t have to do any of that stuff… the *real* solution probably looks something like this:
* When you get home, you announce to your kids that it’s “catch-playing-time” and take the football out back and for 15mins, play speed-catch with them, asking them about their day WHILE you are throwing and catching.
* When you walk in the door, you kiss your wife and take the trash out.
* You russle the kids up to help set the table for dinner, normally they sit infront of the TV until dinner is served by your wife, but *you* take the extra 2mins to russle them together and make it a family affair.
* When you kiss the kids goodnight, you tell them you had fun today playing catch (they probably had fun too)
While I’m suggesting just 1 of those things above, even if you did ALL of them, you literally are looking at like 20mins worth of work and suddenly find yourself 75% of the way from Point A to Point B… see what I mean?
NOTE: I have no idea what you are 50% about, I’m just using the whole kid/family/wife thing as an example, so please adjust accordingly.
So to recap, I would really focus on the following things first:
* Establish the things that are you important to you that you want to be doing 100%
* Figure out where you feel you are with each of these items (Point A) and where you think 100% lies (Point B)
* Make a single, simple micro-change with regard to each of these items, that takes you even 1% closer to Point B, I think you’ll be surprised how far that single change actually gets you towards feeling much better about yourself and where you stand in life.